Daniella from Fresno

July 26th, 2009

Frank Ford, 1997Daniella was from Fresno. Her boyfriend was a gangster wannabe who managed a Burger King. He’d get drunk or high and beat her. He’d take whatever money she had and spend it on drugs, so she hadn’t been able to afford her hormones.

Fresno did not sound like a great place to be transgendered.

Hollywood is everyone’s land of dreams, and Daniella came down to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a model or an actress. If she could only get that going, maybe she could ditch her Burger-King boyfriend, bust loose from Fresno, afford hormones, and live a life free from abuse.

Frank Ford, Hollywood 1997

July 25th, 2009

Frank Ford, 1997Summer of ‘97 and Frank was on one of his weird kicks. At this point he was sort of starting a one man cult of which he would be the only member but not really the leader. Unlike most cults, Frank’s cult had no leader. It pretty much had to be this way because Frank was very impatient and not at all interested in following directions.

This was all made simpler by the fact that the goal was one of style. Most of Frank’s often extraordinary undertakings were done for aesthetic rather than experiential purposes.

Frank later became half of the design team “Loy and Ford” who had a very successful run a few years ago.

Celia, Baja, 1991

July 14th, 2009

Baja 1991This is a shot of my (now ex) wife, down in Baja California, a week or so after we got married, which was somewhere around 1991, I’m pretty sure, although I have really always struggled with dates.

Then, as now, the thing I enjoyed the most in life was spending all day, every day at the beach. What I didn’t realize is that this is somewhat rare. Even my surfer friends nowadays have this ridiculously activity oriented approach: they head out, surf for a couple of hours, and then leap back into their cars and dash back into town so that they can engage in activities and feel like good, productive, patriotic Americans. Surfing is leisure to them, but leisure is an activity.

This makes no sense to me. It’s a Calvinist thing, from what I understand.

One awesome thing about Celia was that she really could chill out on the sand without any compulsion to do activities. She understood leisure.

Sunset Beach

June 26th, 2009

Sunset Beach
Sunset Beach, May 10 2009

Vancouver Island, 1994

June 21st, 2009

I’ve been to this place twice. The first time was during a family vacation in the 70s. I remembered it as cold, desolate, and stunningly beautiful. I remembered enormous driftwood - not just a piece of wood but the entire tree. I remembered abandoned lean-tos and other shelters made out of driftwood, by hippies, I reckoned.

And when I returned a little over 20 years later, it was exactly as I remember.

Vancouver Island

Vancouver Island, 1994

May 30th, 2009

Long Beach, Vancouver Island, 1994

Long Beach, on Vancouver Island. 1994.

Opposite side of the island from my parents’ house, which was right on the beach. That was my mother’s deal. She loved the ocean. My stepfather was a prairie boy and hated both the ocean and all the trees. He preferred a flat and endless stretch of wheat fields.

My mother said that when she died she didn’t want any sort of a big fuss with a lot of people. She just wanted her immediate family to wade into the ocean she could see from her porch and quietly scatter her ashes there. So that’s what we did.

A day or two later I took a solo trip across the island.

Long Beach was a place I remembered visiting when I was about 12. I remembered it was cold, desolate, and really beautiful. I also remembered that hippies had built all sorts of shelters out of the driftwood.

It hadn’t changed much from my memories as a kid in the early 70s. It was still desolate, beautiful, and the only signs of humans were odd bits of hippie detritus.

Miles of beach, middle of August, and I was the only person there.

Night

May 23rd, 2009

I had a few shots left to run out a roll. Abbott’s board on my porch.

Potato Chip

Friday Morning

May 23rd, 2009

7am, in the water at Zuma, foggy like always before noon on a summer day, and the dolphins came inside the break, playing in the waves in water that was only up to my chest, closer to the shore than we were. The only thing that wasn’t perfect was having to keep an eye on the time so I could make it back to town and into work by 10am.

It’s really easy to get wrapped up in existential crises and angst. It’s considered hip to be a caustic sort inured to suffering or an artistic sort who suffers because, ya’know, that’s what you do if you are an artist, ’cause no one appreciates your genius. Or something. But the dolphins were playing in the same waves I was this morning, only a few feet away, and when that happens I realize that anything I’m suffering from is either imaginary or due to a lack of gratitude, and I don’t really have a fucking thing to complain about.

Jose’s New Teeth

May 9th, 2009

I stopped in at the old corner grocery store next to where I used to live. Annie and Terry the Armenian ladies who run it were very glad to see me.

They said I got out just in time. My old building has been going down hill. No more single folks living alone in apartments. It’s either families of 4 in a small one bedroom or groups of drugs addicts, rockers and party boys turning singles into crash pads. The police are out there regularly now.

Jose the building manager has been wasting away. He’s lost a lot of weight on this latest tweaking binge, which makes those weird oversized false teeth he got in Mexico look that much larger. His wife has left him. I’m not sure if she took the kid. His beautiful truck that didn’t run is gone, as is his motorcycle.

I’m not sure why the owners keep him on. As he goes, so goes the building. They set up a conference call between them, me and Jose so that he could tell me (in between smacking on his weird false teeth) how I’d stolen the window screens, the closet door, the light fixtures, the carpet, and everything else I guess he stole out of my apartment after I left so he could trade it in for crack…The owners weren’t buying it any more than I was, and after he ran out of things to accuse me of and just started prattling inanely they cut him off, apologized to me, and asked if it was okay if they keep $50 of my deposit just to make him happy. I was cool with that, but when I went to pick up the money, in cash, from Jose, he tried to short me $200.

surveillance

I wrote about Jose’s new teeth several months ago, before his crack or meth use had gotten out-of-control.

Jose the tweaker manager of my ghetto apartment building has new teeth.

I’m not sure where he got them or why he has them. He’s a relentless scavenger. Maybe a tenant left them behind after moving. Maybe he found them on the street. There seemed nothing wrong with his old teeth. They appeared to be pretty regular, which is to say unnoticeable because the only time you notice teeth is when something is wrong, like they are unnaturally white or they are rotten or they are seriously snaggled or they are really stained or several prominent ones are missing…

Jose’s new teeth are very noticeable.

They were made for a head much bigger than his, and the weird effect is exacerbated because he seems to be shrinking, maybe due to all the speed. Because they don’t really fit, his speech is a little slurred and he can’t seem to get his lips to cover them, so what he does instead is the sort of freakish grimace that I think is meant to be a grin.

Whatever drugs he’s doing, it’s a combo that has him at his most agreeable in the 6 years I’ve lived here. He’s not looking so good, but he’s happier (in a manic way) than he’s ever been…

Night Surf

April 30th, 2009

April 26th. We headed out to Zuma around 5pm. The wind was blowing hard from the north and it was too cold to even bother. South on PCH traffic was jammed, one accident after another. We stopped off at Topanga. There was no surf. A bunch of ambulances pulled up. A helicopter landed. Some time went by while they worked on the victim. Once he was stable enough they moved him quickly into the helicopter. Even from a distance you could see blood on the sheets covering him on the stretcher.

We headed down further to little Sunset. High tide, mellow surf. Watched the sun set on our boards, and surfed into the dark. I didn’t realize how cold I was until I got out and discovered I couldn’t feel the ground. It took an hour before I got feeling back in my feet.

Churn
High tide churn at night

topanga beach
Topanga
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